Saturday, 19 November 2011
Firstly I am NOT leaving the blogs. I just haven't been able to find the time that much. I managed to check Derek's blog on my phone from time to time, and got to leave a comment when I was over at my Aunt's, but I had a Science Exam last week, I've had Art Coursework (which holy hell, is a lot of work), and practice History mock exams to prepare us for the end of Year 11. I've even had an end-of-topic business exam, and if you add all of this school work ON TOP of the christmas shopping I've landed myself in, the chemical result is a compund of a very tired and a very stressed out Lenka.
Kallie I am SO SO SO sorry I missed your birthday sweetie D: I logged on today and saw the comments and I can't help but beat myself up over it - I had no idea! I'm so sorry, and you don't have to forgive me, I'm just really upset I missed it :(
But on a happier note... congrats to everyone who won Derek's contests! Especially Thalia! Well done! I saw on my phone and freaked out a little for you all: you're all so wonderful and you all deserve winning the stuff you're going to get! I would have left a comment on Derek's blog sending you all my congradulations in the middle of my revision sessions, but you can't post comments on your phone - or my phone, at least (damn blackberry).
So... writing. I am hopefully going to get started on Part Eighteen of Broken Glass (I had to go back and CHECK what the title of my fanfic was... I had completely forgotten. Dear lord, have I seriously not written anything since December?)soon, but I got an original story idea yesterday! So I'm trying to see how far that will go before I loose it. You know how JK Rowling got the idea for the Harry Potters while she was on a train? My inspiration is kind of like that - it just... kind of hit me. So yeah. *nods*
But still. Sorry sorry sorry sorry to everyone on the blogs for being gone for so long.
*offers you all RedVines in apology*
Sunday, 11 September 2011
That was amazing.
I went to Bluewater (got stuck in traffic... took two hours to get there) and queued for about two and a half hours, but it was so worth it. My Dad kept my little brother and sister entertained while I was in the queue, but he kept asking me things like 'do you want a drink? or food? or something?'
And I just kept saying 'no! I'm not leaving this queue.'
'But I can stand here while you-'
So that was cool. I talked a little to the boy in front of me who had only just started reading it (i was like... come on. I had finished it the day after it came out. Jeeze.) but then his friend came along with his Mom and Sister, and dear lord, I just can't listen to a Mother yell at her child for two hours okay? So I put my earbuds in and re read all the fan-pieces that you guys submitted while I was waiting :D
Ooooookay. Then I was at the front. I had the folder in my hands and the Death Bringer book and I was so freakin' excited. And then it was my turn, the woman (I think it's his agent or manager or something that sticks with him through the signings? I don't know. She was there when I met him last year in MK too)said 'This is Juliet', and ushered me over. When he was in the middle of signing my book, I ended up blurting out 'I'm Lenka,' really quickly, and he just sort of looked at me and smiled and held out his hand to shake. 'I met you last year too.'
And he remembered me! I was so wow-ed. I was just beaming, and then I gave him the folder. I told him I had collected up four fanficitions and one poem to give to him, since I knew that some people from the Blogs lived in America and Austrailia and wouldn't be able to give their work too him this year.
And then he HUGGED ME.
He thanked me for it, and then Derek asked 'Who's work have you got in here?'
'There's mine, Hellboy's Kallista's, Octa's and Thalia's.'
'Do you know what, I actually remember every single one of them from Blogspot.'
(Guuuuuuuys! Derek Landy knows you all!)
But then, the staff were getting very 'hurry up' 'move on' 'shove off' like, so Derek took the folder, I took my book, thanked him again and then let the next person have their turn.
I'm still sat here like 'i got a hug. a HUG.' I mean, the kid in front of me didn't get a hug, or the one before that! It was just perfect. Hopefully you'll all get the chance to meet Derek soon as well! :)
EDIT: sorry! Forgot to mention that yes, I did get a picture taken! Derek got everyone to pose with him where your hand is kind of on your chin like you're halfway through stroking your imaginary beard? Yeah. Like that :P
Friday, 26 August 2011
8th of September guys, is the very last day you can send me fanfictions and fanarts for me to print out to give to Derek.
I'm going to see him on the 10th, which is only FITHTEEN DAYS away. Less than that actually, if you could the hours. I've chosen the 8th, because if I tell you all the 9th, with timezones and all that shiz, you might end up sending it when it's the 10th in my time, on which day i won't be able to print anything out because I'll be getting ready to go to the book signing. I would prefer it if you could send me you fics and things before this date, because that'll make it easier for me to sort through everything and put it in a folder etc.
So, with Fanarts - NO full colour copies of work. I can't print out even ONE A4 sized picture which is fully coloured. That'll waste ink, which will mean less ink i can use to point out other pieces of work. For example, with the pictures Hellboy's brother drew (everyone remember? they were seriously super freaking awesome? remember now? good.) i would be able to print out things like that as long as there wasn't a background colour to them. Just the character.
With Fanfictions, I'm NOT going to give you a limit. Because I know that someone might write 1,000 words and someone else could write 9,000, which would even out the hypothetical 5,000 word limit (it's just an example of a limit guys! i haven't set one!), so as long as it's reasonable, just post it, send me the link and I'll copy and paste it into word to check myself. But if you are currently writing a fanfic and it's multi chapter and quite long, i'd suggest trying to write a one shot piece for me to give to Derek.
I promise: I'm not here to steal anyone's work. I'm going to be putting everyone's fanfics/artworks into seperate plastic wallets and labelling each one with the person's blogger name (if you want your real name included tell me on the post with what your name is. i remember some of yours, but not how you spell them. ie: if someone's name of here is molly, they might spell it mollie etc) so that YOU get full credit for the work YOU made.
I'll also accept and print out letters to give for Derek (like... if you really fancy sending him technically-fanmail then that's fine. if it's short though, you can also post it in your author's/artist's notes on you work if you'd prefer).
So just comment with a link to your work and I'll print it off as quick as I can! :D
If you ever find someone commenting on Derek's blog about wanting to give him something but they are unable to, send them here if you catch them online! The more the better right? Plus, it would be nice if Derek could see just how many people appricate his books enough to write stories and draw for his pieces of fiction, wouldn't it? ;)
Tuesday, 16 August 2011
It depends if my Dad will be at work or not, but the plan is to go to one of the signings on the 9th or 10th of September.
Now I know a lot of you are from places that are no where near to where Derek is signing so... I have an idea.
I'm planning on taking a new SP fanfic I'm in the middle of along with drawings to give to Derek. But I was thinking that if you want to give him some things too (but can't because of location) then you could post fanfics/fan-art to your blog and link me to it, then I can print it out and give it to him.
It's not for certain though, so don't get too excited. But, when I know for sure if i'm going and on what date, I'll make a post to tell you, when I need your links and stuff sent to me by ect. ect.
Does that sound like a good idea or...?
EDIT: if this happens, you need to remember that your fanfictions need to be a suitible length. I can't print out 20 pages of work for each person :)
Sunday, 31 July 2011
But i swear to god if Fletcher and Valkyrie don't live happily ever after i will write so much fanfiction for them that will give you cavities from the cuteness.
(I'm a Hopeless Romantic. Don't judge me.)
Thursday, 23 June 2011
I don't even know half of you! Some of you are names I've never seen before and don't recognise and you're all just there and it's so epic and weird at the same time. And then of course there are the names i know... and i'm just so happy you're all still here for me and it's just wonderful. so thank you <3 .
Okay. So, Derek Landy mentioning me in a post made me smile so much i thought my face might split (i'm still trying to determine if this is a good thing or not...) and then i realized he posted on one of my personal posts and I'm pretty sure i just lost it.
^I would hug everyone right now in real life if i could. but i am not worthy of you all <333333
Saturday, 21 May 2011
But you can have courage. You can have courage to get through it all. And everyone has that song that just makes you feel better and makes you relax a bit. And the song 'Courage Is' (which you can listen to here) is kinda my song for the moment, so... I hope you like it too.
Thursday, 31 March 2011
To not fear the nightmares.
She goes home and she prays,
She's not sure what she's hoping for anymore.
She get's pushed.
Sometimes it's into lockers
Sometimes it's to the ground
Either way each time she's knocked down.
There are days where she wants to scream
Others she wants to cry
She wonders if they miss her.
She hopes they don't.
She pieces her heart together,
But what she needs,
is to stop it falling appart.
She used to write all the time,
Now she doesn't know what to say.
She tells people about her dream.
They tell her it will never come true.
One day she snaps.
She tells he bully that at least she has ambition.
At least she's something- even if it's a loser,
He tells her she's not good enough.
He tells her she'll never get a boyfriend.
He tells her she'll die alone.
She tells him he's just ignorant,
But she knows he's only telling her the truth.
Her friends hardly see her anymore.
They don't question it.
Teachers tell her to lower her expectations,
That not every sotry is a happy ending.
She breaks down crying when she's finally alone.
She smiles when people are around,
and crumbles apart inside.
She wonders if she'll stop avoiding her reflection in the mirror.
She knows the answer is no.
Her Mother tells her she's beautiful.
Her Father tells her she's perfect.
She doesn't want to be perfect.
She doesn't want people to convince her.
She doesn't want people to lie anymore.
She thinks again:
"What if thy miss me?"
She knows they do.
She wish they wouldn't.
She tries her hardest in English,
But the boy who sits behind her is better.
The girl who throws pencils at her is more beautiful.
The person she sits next to dates the guy she likes.
It's all about labels.
But she doesn't have a slot to fit into.
She sits at home in front of the computer,
The power to write,
But not the ability to explain how she feels.
She reads their messages and she hides in her room as she does so.
Sometimes she smiles.
Sometimes she cries.
She tries to write back, but everything is fake.
She's getting good at lying.
Her voice doesn't get higher when she says
No one catches her out.
But they don't leave her alone either.
The whispers hurt more that the shoves.
She hears them talk.
She doesn't know what to say.
She turns to music,
She pours her heart into the lyrics.
She wishes she could sing.
Tear sting her eyes when people trip her up.
No one cares.
She goes home and plugs in her headphones.
She think about them again.
She wonders what they think of her.
She wonders if she has the strenght to post.
She writes a happy post when she finishes her work early in ICT.
Someone looks over her shoulder,
They tell her she should stop wasting her life online.
She tells her teacher about her fanfiction.
She shows her teacher some of her work.
"It's a good effort... but how will Jodi Harte help your future?"
She turns to music.
She cries to her playlists.
Maybe they're thinking of her right now.
Maybe they hate her for leaving them for so long.
Maybe they want to help.
She doesn't know what to say.
She doesn't know how she feels anymore.
There aren't words.
She's learned to lie so well,
She can convince herself that she's telling the truth.
She wonders what it's like to dream,
To believe that they'll come true.
Wednesday, 23 February 2011
I don't even have a lot to say right now.
I kind of really want to tell you: all of you, every single detail. I want to spill everything that's going on in my head onto paper where i can be certain my words won't fall off the lines. I really wish I could do all that: but writing down what I've been through this year makes it all real. It sort of pushes aside the fact that i made really amazing friends on Blogger and points out the fact that hey look, she went through a heck of a load of crap, didn't she?
I don't want to do that.
Not to you.
Before i try explaining - i don't even know if i can yet - I'm going to catch up on somethings:
*If you had your birthday while i was away, then Happy Birthday to you
*Someone got married...? I don't know how where or who, i just saw something about it on those lines. Whoever you are, congrats.
*Thank you Hellboy for posting. This is the first time I've been back on for 28days, and seeing that you posted and mentioned me made my Day. So thank you, it gave me the courage to post again.
Right. So hopefully you understand that i have some troubles going on at home, and that i can't post as frequently, and i'm not even sure when i'll finish the next part of Jodi Harte, but i need you all to know i haven't avoided you. I haven't chosen not to go on here. It wasn't because i didn't see the point or couldn't be bothered. I simply had a lot going on and I needed to clear my head about everything, and i'm trying to do that now.
So, how exactly is this going to happen? I want to be active, but i'm not sure how that's going to work around stuff at home. I can't promise that i'll be back on tomorrow, or that i can stay up all night like i used to, i want to, more than anything i do, and if i can't give you that, then I guess my only promise to you all is that I'll post at least once a month to tell you what's going on in my head. I'll try to comment as much as possible, and I'll try to get back on track with everyone. I love you all, and i don't really want to let go of you now.
Okay, so I'm making this clear: you are all my friends. I love you so so much, but I have found someone else to talk to as well. She's been though the things I've been through, and she's been though more. Some of it she's still going through, so we're kind of supporting each other at the moment. Let's call her... Amy. Yeah, okay, me and Amy talk a lot on Instant messaging sites and e-mails and things. Sometimes we have days where we feel like no one understands so we send each other a e-mail about what's going on and how we feel. Then the other sends back saying if they've ever been through it, what to do, words of guidance etc. etc. etc. She's been there a lot for me lately, and even though i can't talk about it with you, i am talking to someone.
I get that this must suck, hearing that i'm talking with someone that i've only known for a couple of months when i've know you for longer. I get that. I'd be annoyed too. Because, you're probably thinking 'why can't lenka talk to us? to me?' and the answer is simpler than you think. If i tell you, you lot just become another support group, not my best friends. You'd become more like someone i can dump my troubles on, not someone i can have fun in a fandom with. Even if you didn't see the situation like that, I would, and that's what scares me. i don't want to lose you.
Did you know that the NHS have no counciling schemes set up for Children under 18?
Me and my Mum were thinking about getting me someone to talk to about everything, away from the computer and in real life. We asked and they don't have any set up or planned. They say it got cut due to the government's choices to try and save money on the funds.
Just saying. That's sort of confused me. It made me feel like everyone who has something they needed to talk about couldn't talk about it. Like we were being pushed away because we're under 18 and don't understand life.
I have to go now. It's 01:40am here on the 23rd.
I love you guys, don't forget it. Thank you, your comments meant a lot to me.
Wednesday, 26 January 2011
Well on the 24th of Dec, I got a call from my biological/blood father. In a few weeks, I wouldn't have spoken to him for a year, so 33 days ago he tried to fix the problem.
I didn't pick up the phone, I didn't want to speak to him. Instead on the voicemail he said he wanted repair the damage he had done.
But I know there are some things you just can't fix.
Which is why 33 days ago I stopped.
I basically started acting differently: I brought new clothes, I practically live in the Glee Fandom, and I tried to change everything. So I stopped going on blogger, I stopped writing and reading, I literally didn't want to have to write again. It was my dad who I first told that I wanted to be a writer. It was him who brought me notpads and binders and paper and glitter pens. He encouraged me to write: he sometimes reminded me of the first time I told him: he would tell me about the gleam I had in my eye that day. The blooming of a dream and a future.
So, as I said in a few weeks it will have been a whole year sine I've seen him/talked to him. And I'm scared of him: and that's what hurts more, because I shouldn't have to be scared, and I don't want to be.
What I'm trying to say is that at home: it's pretty crap. I'll try to update, but I have another early GCSE coming up (I got an A in my first one), and I have to pick my options soon and I have three assessment pieces due next week, so I have no idea when I'll be on again.
Don't worry though, I'm fine, honestly. I mean, Derek Landy has read my work: how couldd I not be happy about that?!?!?
PS: sorry if there are spelling mistakes, I'm on my blaclberry and I have school tomorrow... It's nearly midnight on the 26th here xxx Night