Bio-Rama

Bio-Rama
-Thanks to Lizzy for creating the Bio-Rama page and letting me post my own OC Jodi Harte :) Click on the image to visit Bio-Rama!

Thursday, 31 March 2011

How Am I Feeling?

She wonders what it's like to dream,
To not fear the nightmares.
.
She goes home and she prays,
She's not sure what she's hoping for anymore.
.
She get's pushed.
Sometimes it's into lockers
Sometimes it's to the ground
Either way each time she's knocked down.
.
There are days where she wants to scream
Others she wants to cry
.
She wonders if they miss her.
She hopes they don't.
.
She pieces her heart together,
But what she needs,
is to stop it falling appart.
.
She used to write all the time,
Now she doesn't know what to say.
.
She tells people about her dream.
They tell her it will never come true.
.
One day she snaps.
She tells he bully that at least she has ambition.
At least she's something- even if it's a loser,
He tells her she's not good enough.
He tells her she'll never get a boyfriend.
He tells her she'll die alone.
She tells him he's just ignorant,
But she knows he's only telling her the truth.
.
Her friends hardly see her anymore.
They don't question it.
.
Teachers tell her to lower her expectations,
That not every sotry is a happy ending.
She refuses.
.
She breaks down crying when she's finally alone.
She smiles when people are around,
and crumbles apart inside.
.
She wonders if she'll stop avoiding her reflection in the mirror.
She knows the answer is no.
.
Her Mother tells her she's beautiful.
Her Father tells her she's perfect.
She doesn't want to be perfect.
She doesn't want people to convince her.
She doesn't want people to lie anymore.
.
She thinks again:
"What if thy miss me?"
She knows they do.
She wish they wouldn't.
.
She tries her hardest in English,
But the boy who sits behind her is better.
The girl who throws pencils at her is more beautiful.
The person she sits next to dates the guy she likes.
.
It's all about labels.
But she doesn't have a slot to fit into.
.
She sits at home in front of the computer,
The power to write,
But not the ability to explain how she feels.
.
She reads their messages and she hides in her room as she does so.
Sometimes she smiles.
Sometimes she cries.
She tries to write back, but everything is fake.
Fake happiness.
.
She's getting good at lying.
Her voice doesn't get higher when she says
"I'm Fine."
.
No one catches her out.
But they don't leave her alone either.
.
The whispers hurt more that the shoves.
She hears them talk.
She doesn't know what to say.
.
She turns to music,
She pours her heart into the lyrics.
She wishes she could sing.
.
Tear sting her eyes when people trip her up.
No one cares.
.
She goes home and plugs in her headphones.
She think about them again.
She wonders what they think of her.
She wonders if she has the strenght to post.
.
She writes a happy post when she finishes her work early in ICT.
Someone looks over her shoulder,
They tell her she should stop wasting her life online.
.
She tells her teacher about her fanfiction.
She shows her teacher some of her work.
"It's a good effort... but how will Jodi Harte help your future?"
.
She turns to music.
She cries to her playlists.
.
Maybe they're thinking of her right now.
Maybe they hate her for leaving them for so long.
Maybe they want to help.
.
She doesn't know what to say.
.
She doesn't know how she feels anymore.
There aren't words.
.
She's learned to lie so well,
She can convince herself that she's telling the truth.
.
She wonders what it's like to dream,
To believe that they'll come true.

75 comments:

  1. Lenka. Just because someone is a teacher does not mean that they are wise. I have found that out. Same with parents. If your parents are teliing you that you are beautiful. That I thank the Lord for that!
    One thing to remember. Even if you don't feel beautiful, you are. There are other kinds of beauty that are far more lasting and real then physical.
    You might think someone is a better writer. Maybe it's true. I doubt it. You have excellent writing skills! You do have what it takes and your dreams WILL come true!
    This is part 1 of my messege to you.
    I love you Lenka! You are a wonderful friend.

    ReplyDelete
  2. There are people who might refer to being online as waiting your time. Maybe. If you were only interested in playing video games and ordering things all the time online, every day. All day. But what we do is another form of communication. Also the writing of fanfics and other stories can hardly be seen as wasting time. I could explain what I mean but I want to focus on you. Brilliant beautiful Lenka.
    To answer your questions. Yes we miss you. We need you! We support you. We understand you. Are we mad? NEVER! Parish that thought. You are so delightful to be around! An amazing person!
    If you are being bullied, then I don't know what to do! I am at a point where I want to take all those horrible people and dump them in the middle of Iraq with American flags around thier necks. >:)
    As for that one teacher....grrrr....
    Jodi Hart is a wonderful OC you created. She can be part of your future and she is part of your present. She will help you get to your future.
    I really am starting to believe, because I have witnessed it, that those who are brightest with a lot of talent and gifts to give, they suffer the hardest. You are a genius Lenka. Others back me up in this.

    *sighs*

    Part three will come soon. HAve to go make dinner. Wish me luck! Hope I don't burn it! :P

    ReplyDelete
  3. Awww, Lenka, I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. You're such a good friend, and I HAVE missed you very much. It's true. I wish I could be there with you now. I wish I could give that bloody bully a good smack in the groin and tell him how pathetic he is. I would in a heartbeat if I could. Truthfully.
    Your writing is a magnificent thing. One of my favorites!! It IS helping your future, for it's helping your ability to write. I would certainly NOT be surprised at all if you become as famous as Derek Landy. I'm serious.
    I know what it feels like when it seems as if everyone is lying to you. I know it's an awful feeling. You shouldn't have to feel that way. You don't deserve it. We, your friends, are NOT lying to you. Honestly, I hate lies. Can't stand them. I disrespect anyone who does so lie. I always try to never ever lie. Even over the unimportant things. And I would definitely not lie to you.
    I pray practically every single night. I promise to pray for you every time. I so hope those near you will realize the mean things they've done and regret it terribly.
    If you ever need to chat or anything at all, get in touch with me.
    My e-mail is
    sakura.c@goowy.com

    We're here for you, Lenka, always!
    :]

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lenka, your teacher is an idiot. Every creative effort has value, every one takes you somewhere.

    And your parents are sweet - I know you are beautiful! But perfection is more of a concept than anything real. I'm sure it's meant as a compliment, but I know how that can feel like pressure - in this case, pressure to achieve the impossible, and that sucks.

    *hugs*

    Your writing is fantastic. I think you should keep it up. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. You do realize that more than half of this is exactly how i feel/used to feel... even this morning, i was waiting to cross the road at the traffic lights and i wondered what it would be like if i just took two steps out onto the road in front of one of the speeding cars, i played that over in my mind thousands of times, but i realized that i was being selfish, i was being indignant and disrespectful, to my parents, my friends, you guys, all the people who care about me, but whom i do not notice it from as much, but most of all i was being disrespectful to myself. Because we are all worth the effort, we seriously just have to believe it, you have these wonderful people on the blogs trying to convince you that you are great, doesn't that show you that you are worth their time and your own? It should show you that there are people who care about you, even when they have never met you! They can see the qualities you present through your writing, because they also possess those qualities.

    We do miss you Lenka, Brilliant people are always missed. As they are ridiculed and struck down by the jealousy of others. The difference between the successful and the unsuccessful, the fulfilled and unfulfilled and the happy and unhappy is that, the negative faction in all of these instances have given up they have given up on their hopes and dreams, i could be a physicist or an engineer if i wanted to, I've been told that a thousand times, but its not what i want, what i desire, what i dream of, i dream of writing, and i dont give a shit how long it may take or how much work i will have to do, i WILL be published eventually, the thing is you cant take no for an answer, if it is your passion, your dream, your love, then you cant let anything get in the way of that.

    And believe me Lenka, things could be much worse, you feel as if you have hit rock bottom? Well, Lenka, no-one here knows what rock-bottom truly is, they have not seen true suffering, or poverty, or famine or death. They have not seen a persons mind crumble completely, to have them go insane with the pain. They have not seen a child suffer because his or her parents didn't truly want them, they try so very hard for their approval but are unable to get it. No-one has suffered the guilt of not being able to say, or do, or become anything that will make up for the pain you have cause others. No-one has. So we should be grateful for even the VERY little we do have. You have loving parents, evidently, if the school isn't a good environment, that can change, you are free to express yourself regardless of what other people think.

    If i had let even the first person to discourage me from anything, i would be a dead husk of a person already, i would not be here, i would not be trying, i would not be alive.

    Because the only moment that a person truly dies, is when they give up on living, on trying, on dreaming.

    It isnt a waste of time, and neither are you, so stop believing it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I don't quite know what to say.


    What a jerk i was. I'm sorry, Lenka. I'm so sorry.

    If only i could be there, to push back, to tell them to get lost, to help in every way to piece it back together for you. I know that it's unrealistic. I know that dreams sometimes fail to come true.

    But that just means we give it a hell of a try. Every day, we show them that they're wrong. We shove their own logic right back at them, then walk off.

    And we live, we live despite it all.

    They can't decide what we do. They can't tell us who to live with, who to like, what we will make our future become. Because that's just freaking it. It's our damn future. We WILL decide it for ourselves.
    You have so much potential, Lenka. Yes, i know that it might not count from someone over the internet, someone who probably doesn't have any idea what he's doing half the time, but you still have it.

    This internet thing? These blogs, this life? This is how i choose to live. This is how I choose to hone my skills, to seek other friends, to know that i am not alone. We never are.


    I will never leave you side, Lenka. You just need to hold out, to wait until it all goes away. I sure am.

    Hell, the moment i'm out of school, i'm gone. I get a job, i save my money and i swear when i have enough i will be there. I will sever all connections with those i have pretended to like at school, drop the facade i wore and let them know that all the while, most of them were complete idiots. Then i'll meet new people. And when i reach the age to be able to have a car, money, a place to call home, then i will make new friends. I will go to places i've never been to, and i will choose who i want to be friends with. There will be no boundaries, no set place i will have to go back to where people can constantly make my life hell. I will make my friends, ignore my enemies and live life to it;s best.

    Just keep that in mind. That once you are done with school, university, or wherever you plan to go, there will be none of that.

    We aren't defined by the first years of our life. Hell freaking no.

    If we were? I'd be no-one. I would just be another out of thousands of people, just one more person to present to the world.

    But that's not how things go. Because we will all be defined however we want ourselves to be. No-one else can name us. Labels? Heh, there isn't one for us. Even 'author' is just a complete under-statement.
    'Extremely awesome', now that doesn't even compare to what we are.

    There are always those in life who can't seem to have a reason to like us. They go, 'oh, that's so and so. Meh, they don't do much. They're quiet, they sit in the corner and keep to themselves. I don't like them now.' And that's literally what people are like sometimes. I mean, how fucking stupid are some people?

    The beautiful ones, well shit, they're cool, aren't they? They get everything, don't they? Friends, popu-freakin'-larity, a winning sense of style, even smarts.

    But hell, their popularity will dwindle. Their good looks will eventually be only held together by twelve dozen forms of make-up. Their style will go out of date and their "funny" jokes will become old and re-used.

    Their life will reach a downward point long before ours will. We only have one direction to go from Hell, Lenka.



    Freakin' up.

    ReplyDelete
  7. My FRIEND! New fanfic is up!

    http://kallistabio.blogspot.com/2011/03/kallista-pendragon-part-10.html

    I would love to hear what you think about it especially Jodi's part. :D

    I've been kept busy these past few days but my mind has been on you. I hope th eword of your friends here brings you encouragement.
    You are a wonderful person and bring something wonderful and unique when you come. We will always wait for you to return to us.
    *hugs Lenka*

    :D

    ReplyDelete
  8. Lenka! I don't know what to say. I want to offer words of encouragement but I don't know how to phrase it.

    We're all here for you. Even though I only got to talk to you once I knew in those few hours that you were an awesome person who it would be a pleasure to get to know.

    I hope you find happiness somewhere and stick to your creativity. All creativity has value and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

    I've probably done a really bad job at this but I hope that our support means something even if all this comment does is let you know that I'm thinking about you and remembering you as a friend.

    *hugs Lenka*

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lenka....
    God....
    I don't know what to say...
    We all miss you, and are behind you in every way. If your teacher's are mean then just ignore them, they're bitter from abandoning their dreams of something more, and that's why they want you to lower your own dreams. Just because they couldn't do it doesn't me you can't.
    You are amazing and unique, no one can tell you to lower your expectations. And if people can't see where Jodi will help you in life, try taking her out of fanfic and putting her in original setting's, an awesome writer like you will come up with a best selling book no problem!

    i would say believe in yourself, but that sounds so cheesey... *hugs Lenka* stay strong honey.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Yeah! What Lizzy said! *point's to Lizzy's comment*
    I've had some bad teachers. Ws hit by one. That was in kindergarten. I bit her back!
    I mean, REALLY!!!! WHo could hit a cute little girl like me?

    *everyone rolls thier eyes*
    Well ok....


    *mumbles something under her breath...

    Anyways. What Lizzy said is true. I think some people were not cut out to be teachers. Sounds like you had a bad run in with one of them.

    All of our here for you. I will be back as soon as my sugur buzz wears down!

    *zooms off the blog screaming crazily*



    *a bunch a native smurrf dressed in tribal clothes chase her carrying spears*

    AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
    NOT AGAIN!
    :O

    ReplyDelete
  11. *hugs* I'll be posting an epic post in the next few days. Would you come over and read it? It'll be Epica, I swear...

    ReplyDelete
  12. WHAT!?!?!?

    Arn't ALL Hellboy's posts EPIC? XDDDD

    Just like Lenka's!

    ReplyDelete
  13. LENKA!!!!
    If you come on within the next few days and leave a comment on your blog, Hellboy's blog and My blog, (the fanfic one) then I will eat a large spoonful of wasabi!!!!
    :D

    ReplyDelete
  14. The Epic Post is online, Lenka. Please check it out. Please comment...just please comment on it.

    ReplyDelete
  15. My friend! Come back! :D
    Looking forward to talking with you again. It might be hard for the first couple times Lenka, to push the button to conect to us again. But please rememeber, we are here for you and understand. You have inspired us Lenka. :D
    Your OC have been great to use. It's one of my favorites.
    So just don't think....PUSH the button! CONECT with us again!
    *hugs Lenka*

    http://susurrusofstories.blogspot.com/2011/04/epic-post.html


    HELLBOY'S EPIC POST!!!

    (yeah I know you know where to go, just wanted to reminded you.......GO AND VISIT!!!)
    ;P

    ReplyDelete
  16. Lenka...even though...

    ...alright. I suck at encouraging.

    Skipping the gradual beginning of this speack thing, your an amazing writer. No, there arent words that can describe the beautiful picture you create when you write. I read all of your story posts. Every. Single. Freakin. One.

    Am I a stalker? No, i just have good taste.

    Am I complimenting myself by complimenting you? Maybe.

    Look at the bright side Lenka.

    ...No, that's the cloudy side. Look to the left, te left!

    Ah....i have no idea where I'm going with this...

    Mind if i swear a bit? Okay.

    The damn kid who bullies you should stop. Whats bullying accomplishing? A hell alot of nothing. The person who said your wasting you life online? I bet that persons going to be the one who wasts his or her life. When you get pushed into freakin lockers, yell at em back. Swear a bit. Get swearing out of your system.

    Ah. Yes. Your teacher. Why the hell is she working with kids? She sound like a un-likable person. Yes. She does. If she? I bet she is.

    Damn. Well, i respect peoples privacy. Most of the time. Well, yes. Anyway, back to the point, you wish that everyone her wouldnt miss you. So, im going to just...observe. Not really comment. Only if i cant refrain myself. Give ya time to clear your head.

    Ah, yes. Bullying victem to bullying victem, music DOES help...it REALLY does...and it helps ya clear out all the tears so you dont cry at the moment of being bullied.

    Yes so were clear, teachers can bully too.

    Stare at em, and make em self-concious...its sorta hilarious to watch...

    Right. Another thing-

    Bullies are freakin jerks.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Yes. To anyone who might have read that, i do not regularly swear. This was a differen occasion. When i feel strongly, i swear.

    And when i stub my toe. I do say the S word.

    Well, i refrain from swearing where it can be tracked a proven that i swore.

    So, dont expect me to swear anytine soon again!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Lenka. Meet Mar. She's another brillant writer. She's alsp a blast and a very honest and honorable person. Even though she does not know you, she recognises your great talent. Your writing has inspired her the way it has all of us. You two would have great fun together. :)
    But not as much fun as when you are with me. ;P

    Come back to the blogs Lenka and continue to shine your beautiful bright light among us! Don't let the sour rotten people who disgues themselfs as trustworthy (teachers) take away your light.
    You brilliant beautiful girl! Come back! You have the strength and the courage.

    *hugs Lenka*

    I have great faith you will come back. That is the onley reason why I can smile right now.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Lenka, I know how you feel, not EXACTLY how you feel but I know what you mean. I hope and pray that you are alright. If you ever need to talk I'm here, ok?
    Just leave me a message on my blog ( jaffasreviews.blogspot.com) and I'll get back to you. We're all here for you.
    Hope things get better.
    Lots of love,
    Jaffa Morbid xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  20. Lenka. Will you remember me? I'll always remember you. I feel like my time is fading here. I'm fading away as bright new stars come onto the blog. My old friends take their eyes of me and pursue with ardor the passions and talenst of ones far superior then me. I can't compete. I never could. I knew I would alway fail. I stopped long ago competeing for aproaval from those I should never had to do that for.
    I will be waiting in the shadows where I belong Lenka. You were one of those who brought me out in the first place. Now I'm becoming forgotten by some. One has put me on a pedistal, a place where I'm going to fall a long way down.
    That frightens me.
    Many long for your bright star to come back again. I'm one of them.
    Your light was one of the ones to inspire me to write and try harder.
    Without you, I feel like I'm loosing what ever inspiration I had. With you I found a great friend. One I could laugh with and be myself. Please come back.
    I'll be waiting in the shadows.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hey Lenka. Hellboy is away on vacation for a bit. He might pop on his blog but I can't be sure. I'm going away for a few days. I'm just letting yo know in case you decide to come back then. I hate the thought of not being here if you come on. But I wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.
    :)

    *hugs Lenka where ever she is*

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hey Lenka

    It's me again.

    I know you probably have so much to deal with but I thought I'd let you know about...

    evilminionplans.blogspot.com

    Because it would be so AMAZING if we could meet the talent that is Lenka Sweet!

    But just to hear of you through a comment would be more than enough.

    Let us know your ok.

    Miss you

    Octa

    *hugs Lenka*

    ReplyDelete
  23. LENKA !!!!!!!


    Have I ever told you I discovered Ribena?
    :D

    I never heard of it until Dragona sent me a funny advert for the drink.
    Some time went by and I find myself watching the advert again. I really wanted to try it. So I remembered our big grocery story had an international section. I went to look fo rth drink and FOUND IT!!! YAY!!!!
    Next discovery I made was that I needed to add water. It never occured to me to do that as most of our drinks we don't have to do that.
    SO I took a big swig and my eyes near poped out of my head! WHOA!!!!
    But now that I know how it's done, I really LOVE RIBENA!!!
    And THAT my dear friend is my Ribena story!


    Hmm...maybe I should start spaming your blog until you come on Lenka.
    >;P

    Or maybe fill up your posting with boring tales of my grandpa and his socks.
    LOL Yeah. I'll do that till you come back on!
    :P

    OI! I won 't be so cruel. But it's dreadful with out you.
    In my latest fanfic I have a part with Jodi in it. I wondered if you would like to read it and tell me what you think.

    Gotta go for now my friend. Hope to hear from you soon.
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hey there, Lenka. *bone-crushing hug*
    I just came back from Sydney. It would be Epica if you posted a bit, or commented on a blog. Because as Kal said, we won't forget you.
    You know what? No-one I know understands why I blog. How I can put my trust and secrets in people from all over the world. People that I've never met.
    Frankly, I don't give a damn to what they think. You don't need to either. I do this because I get support, compliments, awesome friends, and an acceptance- all because i chose to go here. All because of my choice, I have recieved an extra boost in my life that I would of really struggled without.
    You made the choice. At somepoint in your life, you decided that you wanted to talk with us, to make friends and write stories.
    That was the right choice. The best one you could of made. Yeah, you haven't been on recently. Yes, you no longer feel like posting.
    But once you do remake that choice, once you decide to come back, it all starts getting better. Because we see things how you do. We are your friends, Lenka.

    We love and miss you, Lenka. More than you know.

    ReplyDelete
  25. OI!
    *looks at Lenka with alarm as she lies on the ground with all her bones crushed*




    *glares crazily at Hellboy as she uses magic to restore Lenka to proper health*
    There you are. As good as new!

    *whispers
    Now write back. My hair is starting to fall out due to worry.

    Gonna be bald soon! :P

    *looks suspitiously at Lenka*
    You don't want me to be bald.....do you?

    LOL

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hope that wherever you are that life is a little better than it was the day before.
    Hope you smiled today.

    Hope to hear from you.

    ReplyDelete
  27. HAPPY EASTER LENKA!!!
    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!


    *runs crazily around in circles and bouncing off the walls from all the Easter chocolate bunnies she ate*

    ReplyDelete
  28. Lenka! I'm hoping as I do each day that this will be the awesome day I can finally chat with you again!
    *hugs Lenka*
    You wonderful girl! Tell me how you are doing? You don't have to tell me you are fine if you are not. Just share with me. I will be a listening ear.
    Some of us are starting to go crazy with out you. Hellboy and me just to name a couple.
    If you get the time, check out Hellboy's last servral posts! They are EPIC! :D
    How is your studing coming along? I know you are busy with that. But if you could maybe leave a comment once a week on Hellboy's post, letting us know how you are. That would be awesome.
    It's really horrible not hearing from you in such a long time. I get pretty anxious about such things.
    I miss you so much. I can't tell you how much you mean to me as a friend. Please come back soon.

    *hugs Lenka again*

    ReplyDelete
  29. Heya, Lenka! I was wondering how you're doing. :]
    I don't think you know, I've started writing a fan-fic too! Isn't that something? I NEVER thought I'd be able to do it untill, well, I did it! xD
    Actually, I have a regular fan-fic and a side fan-fic now. :]
    I sure would LOVE it if you'd check it out sometime! I'd feel so honored! :D
    And I miss you! I wanna chat with you again soon! Hope to see yo u sometime! :]

    ReplyDelete
  30. What is dis? I have returned!

    What? I said I woud give you some time?
    Well...times up.

    Yes, well, Lenka...

    ...We bloggers need you. You're like...

    ...like a smile! You're like a smile! You spread, and make people happy! If you're happy, we're happy!

    If you come back, it would be like a break from reality!

    Like that time in the night or the morning that you're the only one awake, and you sit there and marvel at the world, imagining that youre the only one there and can finally be at peace! (I don't know if anyone else does tat, but I do~)

    ...Please?

    *smiles awkwordly, for is not sure you're even going to see this*

    ReplyDelete
  31. (Not a word would be spoken about your life, unless you would want to bring something up.)

    ReplyDelete
  32. *clicks little follow button*

    there. I am you're official stalker.

    ReplyDelete
  33. LOL
    @Hellboy and Lenka

    Want me to give Lizzy a noogie?

    *smiles hopefully*

    ReplyDelete
  34. Hey Lenka!

    What do you think of sushi?

    ReplyDelete
  35. My reading teacher wore a suit today.

    Two girls asked to feel his tie.

    Apparently, it was silky.

    ReplyDelete
  36. http://kallistapendragon.blogspot.com/

    I have a chat on this blog lenka. It kind of messed up th eway the stoeyr is laid out. WIll fix it soon. :P
    But it's a lot of fun to go on to. There is a doodle pad where you can scribble and do art with who ever else is online.
    When you first come on it, you need to enlarge it.
    Then you will see tabs along the side. Click on the doodlepad and yo uare ready to began.
    :D
    Another thing. You can start to chat, you will be given a ridulous name (most likely) but you can click on the name and put your own name in.
    Hope to see you there some time. We would have a blast! :D

    ReplyDelete
  37. Lenka!

    Im watching a weird music video. Its a really good song, but...there's something in it that can't decifer.

    It looks like a giant bug. But I know its not that. it can't be!

    ...rigt?

    ReplyDelete
  38. Whoo~

    How are you doing Lenka? Eaten anything sweet lately? Spicy? Bland? Sugary?

    Food is so...INTERESTING! it really is!

    A jellybean can taste like a strawberry, or even toothpaste!

    True!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Ooooooh! I just started watching A Very Potter Musical!

    I love it~!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Am I being ever so slightly annoying by continuously commenting?

    Well, I'm not going to stop.

    Why?

    Because you need another friend.

    *grins*

    ReplyDelete
  41. *whispers*
    Just don't make Mar mad!
    :O

    She hits you with a frypan!

    *rubs sore head casting fearful looks behind her in case Mar come salong again*

    ;P

    *hugs Lenka*

    I am watching a show about pirates right now.
    :P

    ReplyDelete
  42. *Sheepish grin*

    I do tend to use the frypan on a daily bases...

    *winks*

    But I probably won't hit you Lenka!

    ...probably...but then again I hit everyone no matter who they are so...

    ReplyDelete
  43. OI! LENKA!

    I'm writing you're name into my magic fedora hat!

    ...Lenka...Sweet...

    There we go!

    ReplyDelete
  44. WEEEEEE!

    *waves hat in the air*

    *runs around*

    ReplyDelete
  45. Fiftieth comment.

    How many more?

    Please come back.

    It would be amazing to be able to talk to you again.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah!

    *continues to wave hat in air*

    *stops*

    *places it back on head*

    *straightens it*

    I really wanna meet you!

    Im really doing all the talking here...

    If not, talke to Hellboy, Kallista, Dragona, Lizzy, Skyril, and EVERYBODY else!

    I want you to meet THalia and Mir!

    *looks around worridly*

    Just do NOT call Mir cute...

    ReplyDelete
  47. If you DO call Mir cu te, you can say I forced you. With a banana gun. Pointed at your head. Scary stuff. They will understand.

    As for me? I will probably have to hide out for a bit.

    Have you ever been chased by someone with a frypan, Lenka.

    *shudders*

    Scary stuff....

    ReplyDelete
  48. How is the exams going? Octa has a billion he has to do. He has hardly been on and is getting ill from it. :(
    I hope you are not in the same situation.
    The Harry Potter musical thingy is spreading like wild fire here. Everyone is loving it.
    And just think... you are the clever one who brought it to our attention!
    We will put up a statue in your honor in the middle of Dereksville Blogland!
    :D

    I'm sure there will be a big ceremony...

    ReplyDelete
  49. I think teachers ae insane. Why ar we ding what they want? I SAY FREEDOM TO THE MASSES!!!!!


    *stikes a noble pose*


















    *teacher places a dunce hat on head and forces her into a corner*

    :P

    OK Lenka. Gots to go for now.
    I am getting worn down by some things going on around here. Mostly with some newer people. But I feel like I'm fading. I really need your friendship. So do severel other people. Throw us another bone my dear friend. (old expression meaning to give encouragement)
    :P
    Let us also encourage you Lenka.
    Tell us how you are. Are you too stressed with exams? Are you done with them? What is your favorite color?

    *smacks self in head*
    Dang! Why can I never be serious for more then a minute?

    *hugs Lenka*
    Pay us another visit! The beautiful zombie queen demands it!
    :P

    ReplyDelete
  50. "It was the rediculously named four elementals, all five of them"

    Ah, skul-man~

    *narrows eyes*

    *sprays kallista with purple spraw paint*

    There! Now you're visible!

    ReplyDelete
  51. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  52. ...Lenka, look at me.

    ...or, stare intently at the computer screen. You're choice, considering we're online.

    Lenka, I can't go a whole day withought thinking suddenly 'Hey, I wonder how Lenka's doing.'

    I really care.

    Okay, so maybe we can't solve things going on in your life.

    But we're still here for you, no matter what.

    Maybe not really right next to you, but it HAS to give you courage or whatnot when you think about tons of other kids all over the WORLD thinking about you.

    Just. Think.

    I'm serious. Shut the lat top, place the blackberry down, turn away from the desktop, and vlose youre eyes, and think about it for a moment.

    Read the next comment when you're done.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Ready?

    Okay.

    Now, when you thought, did you realize deep down that you really care about everyone here? (i.e. Hellboy, Kallista, Lizzy, Dragona, ya da ya da ya da)

    Do you really want to say something to them?

    What would you say?

    Think it over slowly.

    Now, type that up into a blogpost.

    Yes, type. A. Post.

    Now look at that 'post' button.

    Consider how easy it'd be to just click the mouse/pad thing/whatever and post the post.

    You hesitate.

    You have been hesitating.

    Hestitation is a welcome thing, it sometimes saves us from various things.

    But it's also a bad thing.

    It traps up all you're real feelings on what you want to do. What you would really do. What you want to say.

    Try it.

    Dont hesitate.

    Click the button.

    Its Just one push away.

    Everyone is always here for you.

    We won't leave you.

    We won't call you names, or bully you in any way.

    We'll welcome you back.

    Please.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Whoa! The wisdome of Mar! Who knew ?

    *backs up hastily from a swinging frypan*

    LOL


    Seriously Lenka. I could not say it beter then Mar. We eagerly wait your awesome return!
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  55. *gives Kallista an odd look for dodging the frypan*

    ReplyDelete
  56. *sits down and waits for any sort of reply from Lenka*

    *picks up two pencils in each hand*

    *in left hand taps to the rythem of Phantom of the Opera*

    *in right hand taps rythem from West Side Story*

    *hums something from Les Miserables*

    *thinks about Blue Man Group*

    ReplyDelete
  57. *charges tickes to folks wanting to see the multi talented Mar*


    *becomes rich*

    ReplyDelete
  58. Mar's right, Lenka. Come on. There is nothing that we would do to drive you away. We see you as an equal- heck, a lot of the time we see you as higher than us as well- so we don't be idiots.

    I'm not sure what's stopping you-whether it's someone there or here- but it doesnt matter. Because none of it does. Right now, we care about you, we'll look after you, we'll be the best friends we can.
    So if it's bad there and good here, then what's stopping you from clicking it?
    From talking?

    It doesnt hurt you. Us. Anyone. It only helps. It's good over here. Over here, we can be ourselves, live properly until we are free of the boundaries that school places upon us and be ourselves freely. To Hell with teachers. To Hell with the people at school.
    We are here, we always will be, but things can only get better if you come back.

    That's the only thing i don't understand, really. Why you haven't already. I really don't see what or whom is going to suffer if you come back.

    We're here, Lenka. We ~always~ will be.

    ReplyDelete
  59. *won't instead of don't in the first paragraph

    ReplyDelete
  60. ...I have realized I put way too many spaces in my comments...

    ...hmmmmmmmmmm...

    ReplyDelete
  61. I think you put to many m's in hmmm...

    ;P



    We need you back Lenka. Desperately.
    Thinking of you as I always do and hoping you are happy.

    *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  62. Lenka. Can we have another post please?
    *gives her puppy dog eyes*
    PWetty PWEESE?????


    WIth SUGAR on it?

    Please tell us how you are doing.
    Remember. :)
    You DID say you would post at least once a month!

    *hugs*
    Can't wait to hear from you.
    :D
    Hurry Lenka!

    ReplyDelete
  63. *wanders on*

    *watches Kallista with great amusement*

    *plans on what schoolwork to bring to cousins graduation in summer, so moi can burn it in the bon fire*

    ReplyDelete
  64. *blinks*

    *turns into cat*

    *sits on Kallista's head to help with the effort*

    ReplyDelete
  65. KITTY!!!!
    *grabs onto cute Mar kitty and cuddles her*


    Sooooo CUTE!!!!!!

    :P

    ReplyDelete
  66. Lenka....

    Okay. I've never spoken to you before, but I stumbled across your blog and started to read your work. I've only had time to read a little, but I'm working my way through it all. You, Miss Lenka, are a fabulous writer and no doubt an amazing person as well.

    I might swear a bit, be warned.

    I know what it's like to be bullied. It's always been that way for me. And, Lenka, you're better than the bullies. Anyone who gives you crap is an idiot. These people need to leave you the hell alone. I won't pretend to understand the bullies motives, because I really, really don't. But I understand how you're feeling. Everyone on the blogs is here for you. Kallista, Octa, Hellboy, Dragona, Mar....everyone, including me.

    Don't pretend to feel one way if you're feeling another. Say how you truly feel. Write a post and tell us. Please come back on. I'd love to get to know you.

    ReplyDelete
  67. It's really hard to be parted from a dear friend. Even harder when there is no more comunication. I am left wondering how you are and very worried. I can only hope that you read these comments to you and feel a bit more encouraged.
    You don't have to be afraid to come back. We are here for you.
    *hugs Lenka*
    I want to know how yo ar doing. Good, bad, sad, mad. Just let us know. Please, my dear friend.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Lenk-

    *phone randomly rings*

    *picks it up*

    Me: hello?

    Random old guy: GET OFF MY LAWN!

    Me: I'M NOT ON YOUR LAWN!

    ROG: YES YOU ARE!

    Me: NO I AM NOT! GEEZ!

    *slams phone down*

    *swallows*

    *looks at everyone*

    ...that was your comic relief for the day. Toon in tomarrow for more.

    ...now I've forgotten what I was to say to you Lenka...darn...

    ReplyDelete
  69. Note: this picture is a sutitute until I get my hands on one of the laptops and van change it back to my other one.

    ...

    ...

    ...

    ...good god...I just had a weird flashy moment where I saw you commentin back Lenka...

    ...

    *raises eyebrows*

    *smiles*

    *moment passes*

    *wiggles eyebrows*

    *moment passes*

    Wanna go eat a rainbow? Hmmmm?

    ReplyDelete
  70. I was sent over here via my curiosity at multiple links on Derek Landy's blog.

    wow.
    just. wow.

    don't stop, please. I'm on my knees begging you, beacuse I've only read this, and this is so brutally brilliant.
    I swear on my life, it will get better. I know, I know what its like to feel this way. I am constantly paranoid that there is always going to be someone overshining me. But you know what? IT DOES NOT MATTER! all that matters is that you love what you do. that is what will help you in life. that is what will keep you going through struggles. the knowlegde that you are doing what you love, and that no one can dim your shine. because I can see, that if you keep this up, you will go far.

    be brilliant sister. for all of those who aren't. for all of those who want to be. for all of those who want you to be, and those who don't!

    but most of all, for you. there is nothing more important that doing what you love. and that, that alone, is what will make you shine.

    ReplyDelete